My First Fill is Tomorrow

My first fill is tomorrow. I'm so full of emotions, high expectations, low expectations, nervousness and excitment abound. I really hope that this first fill gives me some restriction but after talking and reading about so many other lap banders that take numerous fills, I feel like this won't work. Although deep in my gut I'm hoping that this gives me at least some restrictions compared to what I have now.
Thursday I went to the doctor's office for my pre-fill appointment. Since I had been on full food (no more soft foods, etc.) the doctor wanted to make sure that I wasn't having any problems with eating. I'm sure once he saw that I had gained 2 pounds he knew I wasn't having any problems. I feel like I could eat anything and everything in my path - and unfortunately - I did. I completely threw out all the great coaching I have received along the way about what I should eat and what I shouldn't. I learned that chocolate melts really well in your mouth and that you can eat it without any problems. I also learned that pizza and tortilla chips don't effect me at all. These past two weeks I feel like I did during the pre-band phase - last supper ailments. Wanting to eat everything that I love before I get my fill and find I can't eat it anymore. I had these same feeling before the band. The timeframe between when I was approved and when I started my pre-op diet was very hard for me. I had a list of 100 food items I needed to eat before the band (not literally but close). Now I find myself in that same situation.
Yesterday I started journaling again. I vowed to get back on track. Today, the day before my fill and a week of liquids and soft foods, I find myself thinking about what I should eat today that I might not be able to handle in a week or so. Why would I think like this when I knew exactly what I was getting myself into and I was okay with cutting those food items out of my life for the betterment of my health?